Damn girl, damn

Can't believe it's been so long since I've posted here.... but the daily duties I have had for the past while prevent me from being gung ho about losing weight.

I finally got a replacement wii so as soon as we're moved into the new place, I'll finally be able to do  Just Dance and Zumba...it'll probably kill me but damn, I'll look good! lol

This is basically a reminder to myself that after all the madness is gone I'll be plannin' on going back to exercising as frequently as I possibly can... who knows, maybe this summer I can wear a swimsuit and not be mortified.

Well that was disappointing.

Well I decided to find out about the Herbal Magic program today.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnd...even with the family and friends package that would cut the amount in half, I simply cannot afford the price, even with the deal they had for me.

Christ I have to pay basically 200 bucks for the journal ALONE. Sure, the following year is free, but I can't afford 600 bucks for the deal they have, and since the deal ends on monday, the full price comes to a lil over 1000...I cannot afford that at all.

So I'm sitting here crying. Thank heavens my bf is as supportive as he is otherwise I would have lost hope eons ago.

So...to get my mind off of my major disappointment, I'm going to focus on the good.

- I can now fit into a size 12/14 which I couldn't do a couple of weeks back.
- I am exercising every other day which is giving me an increased level of energy and the exercises I do seem easier than they used to, so I must be doing good.
- If I just drink more water, lay off having more than 2 coffee's a day and eat smaller portions I should be able to lose the 10-15 pounds I'm trying to lose before my sis in law's wedding.

I must stay positive and ignore that sense of disappointment that is lingering above me...I MUST stay positive!

Everyone Zumba! :D

I recently bought the Zumba fitness game for wii....and I love it! I thought nothing could surpass Just Dance, but Zumba gives me a better workout. Granted I still do Just Dance but I use it as a warm up to Zumba.

I hope that all the effort I've been putting these days starts to show off, I don't have that much time before the wedding! D:

Worry

People are constantly telling me how much weight I've lost.

My family, my friend's...my boyfriend keeps reassuring me that I've lost more weight than I realize.

But I don't feel it's enough. Granted, I was finally able to wear my old size 14's, but it was asnug fit :/At least it's a start, i know.

I saw this video regime program on late night tv a lil while back and I can remember a good bunch of the exercises so I think I'm going to incoorporate them into my exercise regime. I really do need all the help I can get lol.

I'll be happy when I lose another 20- 30 pounds...and seeing myneighbour Mary, who's using herbal magic and has lost weight dramatically, I can't help but feel jealous, for I can't do that due to nursing my baby so I have to bust my ass and watch what I eat instead of having the easier route *sighs*. Well at least when the little one is on the bottle I can try it out.

I NEED TO WORK MY ASS OFF PRONTO! D:

Holy Crap! :O

Unbeknownst (is that even a word?? lol) to most of you, I used to watch a youtube channel called Shayloss, which revolved around a pretty well known fella named ShayCarl, and many times I would watch that show and many a time I would wind up being disappointed because he'd quit so often *he was a rather rotund but happy/hyper fella* and I remember how ticked off I would get at him for giving up so easily...which was damn hypocritical of me to do since I can't even count how many times I have given up on my weight loss regime.

Well I haven't watched his show in ages...about a year, cause I got fed up with his excuses to his fans as to why he didn't stick to his yearning to lose weight...and what do I find when I finally decided to check on his progress today??

HE LOST 100 pounds!!! :O you know how monumental that is??? I lost 100 pounds ages ago but due to being preggers I wound up gaining it back. Granted I'm 180 now so I have lost 40 pounds but half of that was after I gave birth to my baby.

So....after watching this very uplifting video---> http://www.youtube.com/watch?I v=QPq1OYDlwI4&feature=player_profilepage *I'll have to double check the link* and listening to his positivity, I am yet again determined to shed my extra chub. I'd like to lose at least another 20-30 pounds so I can fit into the bridesmaid dress, but ULTIMATELY I'd like to lose 40-50 pounds.

And you'd think that my happiness towards weight loss would be shared by the ones I hold dear to me..but I have found that many a friend would go on a tangent about how I shouldn't feel like I NEED to lose weight, that I'm great as is, etc etc. Truth be told, I don't look half bad right now, but I'm not losing weight in order to be appreciated by other people...when I was 160 before I got pregnant, I remember how awesome I felt...I could move fluidly.....my back and knees didn't hurt as much, I could run without gasping for air...I just felt all around better, and THAT'S what I want, to feel good in my own skin...I could give two shits as to what others think I should weigh, I want to feel healthy and content in my own body..and I know that I can do this.

So tonight once the kids are asleep *or someone watches the baby for half an hour at least* I'm going to go right back into exercising every day like I was BEFORE the Christmas holidays came along and all those cakes and cookies pushed my progress back.

NOW IS THE TIME! I'm going to make people do a double take when they see me next ;)

Thank you so much ShayCarl for not giving up on yourself...and I vow that I will follow in your footsteps and become the person I was meant to be <3

progress :D

Well I am now down to 180! I was 225 only 4 months ago so I think that's something to be proud of but I still want to lose another 20 to 30 pounds.

So close and yet so far...but at least I am making progress! :D

Waiting for improvement

Other than yesterday, I have been working out for a week and a few days.

And still, the scale still says I haven't lost anything.

BUT! :o

My ass says otherwise...wait, lemme explain xD

Apparently my ass is looking slimmer...I don't have that weird ass shelf on top like I was sporting for awhile...and I don't seem as jelly-like...so although the scale doesn't seem to be in my favour, my body seems to be appreciating what I'm doing, which is good.

I'm just frustrated is all. I KNOW I have a few more months to shed the poundage, but gawd, I would have been ecstatic to have lost a couple of pounds at least!

Perhaps I need to invest in a new scale. That...and I'm gonna bring out the tae bo tapes and really amp up my exercise routine, that and drink more water.

I'm just thankful that I have a good support system who seem to see my progress better than I do...if I didn't have the encouragement that i'm getting, I bet I'd have given up by now.

Here's hoping that this week I'll shed at least 2 pounds...is that too much to ask for?? Sheesh. -___-;