Well that was disappointing.

Well I decided to find out about the Herbal Magic program today.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnd...even with the family and friends package that would cut the amount in half, I simply cannot afford the price, even with the deal they had for me.

Christ I have to pay basically 200 bucks for the journal ALONE. Sure, the following year is free, but I can't afford 600 bucks for the deal they have, and since the deal ends on monday, the full price comes to a lil over 1000...I cannot afford that at all.

So I'm sitting here crying. Thank heavens my bf is as supportive as he is otherwise I would have lost hope eons ago.

So...to get my mind off of my major disappointment, I'm going to focus on the good.

- I can now fit into a size 12/14 which I couldn't do a couple of weeks back.
- I am exercising every other day which is giving me an increased level of energy and the exercises I do seem easier than they used to, so I must be doing good.
- If I just drink more water, lay off having more than 2 coffee's a day and eat smaller portions I should be able to lose the 10-15 pounds I'm trying to lose before my sis in law's wedding.

I must stay positive and ignore that sense of disappointment that is lingering above me...I MUST stay positive!

Everyone Zumba! :D

I recently bought the Zumba fitness game for wii....and I love it! I thought nothing could surpass Just Dance, but Zumba gives me a better workout. Granted I still do Just Dance but I use it as a warm up to Zumba.

I hope that all the effort I've been putting these days starts to show off, I don't have that much time before the wedding! D:

Worry

People are constantly telling me how much weight I've lost.

My family, my friend's...my boyfriend keeps reassuring me that I've lost more weight than I realize.

But I don't feel it's enough. Granted, I was finally able to wear my old size 14's, but it was asnug fit :/At least it's a start, i know.

I saw this video regime program on late night tv a lil while back and I can remember a good bunch of the exercises so I think I'm going to incoorporate them into my exercise regime. I really do need all the help I can get lol.

I'll be happy when I lose another 20- 30 pounds...and seeing myneighbour Mary, who's using herbal magic and has lost weight dramatically, I can't help but feel jealous, for I can't do that due to nursing my baby so I have to bust my ass and watch what I eat instead of having the easier route *sighs*. Well at least when the little one is on the bottle I can try it out.

I NEED TO WORK MY ASS OFF PRONTO! D:

Holy Crap! :O

Unbeknownst (is that even a word?? lol) to most of you, I used to watch a youtube channel called Shayloss, which revolved around a pretty well known fella named ShayCarl, and many times I would watch that show and many a time I would wind up being disappointed because he'd quit so often *he was a rather rotund but happy/hyper fella* and I remember how ticked off I would get at him for giving up so easily...which was damn hypocritical of me to do since I can't even count how many times I have given up on my weight loss regime.

Well I haven't watched his show in ages...about a year, cause I got fed up with his excuses to his fans as to why he didn't stick to his yearning to lose weight...and what do I find when I finally decided to check on his progress today??

HE LOST 100 pounds!!! :O you know how monumental that is??? I lost 100 pounds ages ago but due to being preggers I wound up gaining it back. Granted I'm 180 now so I have lost 40 pounds but half of that was after I gave birth to my baby.

So....after watching this very uplifting video---> http://www.youtube.com/watch?I v=QPq1OYDlwI4&feature=player_profilepage *I'll have to double check the link* and listening to his positivity, I am yet again determined to shed my extra chub. I'd like to lose at least another 20-30 pounds so I can fit into the bridesmaid dress, but ULTIMATELY I'd like to lose 40-50 pounds.

And you'd think that my happiness towards weight loss would be shared by the ones I hold dear to me..but I have found that many a friend would go on a tangent about how I shouldn't feel like I NEED to lose weight, that I'm great as is, etc etc. Truth be told, I don't look half bad right now, but I'm not losing weight in order to be appreciated by other people...when I was 160 before I got pregnant, I remember how awesome I felt...I could move fluidly.....my back and knees didn't hurt as much, I could run without gasping for air...I just felt all around better, and THAT'S what I want, to feel good in my own skin...I could give two shits as to what others think I should weigh, I want to feel healthy and content in my own body..and I know that I can do this.

So tonight once the kids are asleep *or someone watches the baby for half an hour at least* I'm going to go right back into exercising every day like I was BEFORE the Christmas holidays came along and all those cakes and cookies pushed my progress back.

NOW IS THE TIME! I'm going to make people do a double take when they see me next ;)

Thank you so much ShayCarl for not giving up on yourself...and I vow that I will follow in your footsteps and become the person I was meant to be <3

progress :D

Well I am now down to 180! I was 225 only 4 months ago so I think that's something to be proud of but I still want to lose another 20 to 30 pounds.

So close and yet so far...but at least I am making progress! :D